Monday, March 23, 2009

St. Lucia - Day One

I'm sure most of you are going to ask what the fuck I am doing online while I'm on my tropical vacation and all I can say is. Shut up. Day One was amazing. Not amazing in the exploring, wow, beautiful island type of way. But amazing in the holy shit I can't believe all these things happened kind of way. Obviously these posts aren't going to be long and/or in depth, so I'll just give you the cliff notes version.

9 hours of traveling. Plane from Miami to San Juan included no other than Richard Jenkins (yes the dad from Step Brothers who was recently nominated for Best actor in The Visitor) and Aaron Eckhart. (Yes, Two-Face). I thanked him for smoking.

We get to St. Lucia after 9 hours of traveling. Within 20 min of getting to the hotel, we are starving, but apparently the island is pretty much closed because its 11 pm. We walk to one of the only places open that have karaoke. I am wearing a Guinness shirt. An islander walks up to me within 30 seconds of getting to the bar. "Ey mon. I like ur shirt!". He then proceeds to show me his Guinness he is drinking. He then asks me what I'm into, referring to what drugs I need cause he's the man of the island. Yes I was offered drugs within an hour of arriving in St. Lucia. Best part? He introduced himself as Pablo Escobar. Theh brightside, other than the drugs, was that he showed us where to get food. It was literally the only place left open. We all look at the food and have no clue what anything is. We ask the woman to just give us whatever she wants. We walk home and eat in the hotel. The pork is delicious. Fatty, seems like knuckles. I then start to pay closer attention to what I'm eating. There is no way this is pork. God only knows what we ate. I lose my appetite. Begin drinking immediately. Our 7 bottles purchased at the Duty-Free shop will benefit us all. We drink and go into the hot tub until 3 am.

Rinse. Repeat.

More on Day 2 upcoming.


Nubes said...

This is great. Live blog this shit.

Elisa said...

i demand drunk jenga pictures

Sasha Fierce said...

wtf?!get offline. do not turn on the computer until you are back in VA! that is an order...and have a fantastic trip :)

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